Fandom Frenzy
by TheAmazingAuthoress
Summary: Joanfenny, a young Authoress, is sent to investigate a issue involving the Casino's owner. Things go haywire pretty fast, and Joan must collect the contracts of various fandom villains in order to free her OCs. But there's something about this mission that seems... off. Will her mission free her OCs, or cause hundreds of fandoms to fall into chaos?
1. Gambling

**Authoress' note: You may be having de-ja-vus from another fanfic I wrote (that is now deleted) called the Contract CATastrofe. Yeah, this is a take two at it. It was poorly written and I wasn't enjoying myself. So I'm sorry I had to torture you (and myself) with that crap. But enough with the negativity! Hopefully this story will satisfy your expectations!**

 **But thanks goes to TheLexTurtle for reviewing. I'm glad you were liking it, and I hope this story will be even better. (I'm a huge fan of your meddling with magic story)**

 **Anyway, on to the story! I own nothing but my OCs and wand!**

If your looking for danger, mystery, and possible a big win, then the Devil's Casino is just the place to visit.

Unless your a hero.

If you're a hero, then... well... your screwed. Just ask Cuphead.

But that didn't stop Joanfenny from entering. She, as well as her OCs Felines Orio, Prim, and Video, quietly entered the casino and sat down at one of the mini round tables without greeting anyone or even making eye contact. This was very unlike our beloved Authoress, who was normally more than willing to introduce herself to new characters. But this time the four of them slinked in like a shadow. Well, actually, the felines just hid in her backpack. When Joan sat down she plopped her gray and purple pack on the cloth-covered table. A series of "ows" came from inside.

"Orio, get your paw off my face!" Prim muttered from inside. The young Authoress wordlessly unzipped her backpack and all of her kittens tumbled out.

"That's the last time we're riding together!" Prim hissed as she licked her fur.

"Fine by me, your purrfume stinks." Video muttered.

Prim was about to lash out, when Joan shushed them all.

"Stop attracting attention." She whispered. "We're on a mission, not some fanfic adventure."

"I thought all our trips to the fandom realms are fanfic adventures." Orio pipped up.

Joan rolled her eyes. "Okay, true, but we're not here for fun and games. This is _The Devil's Casino_ , not the most friendly place for heroes like us."

"Yeah, these skeletons look kinda sketchy." Prim noted as she fixed her oversized purple bow.

Joan placed her elbows on the table as she leaned in. "Okay, kitties, like I said, this is a villain hotspot. The last thing we want is to attract attention." Joan pulled out her mini notebook and looked over the instructions she wrote down before she left. "Okay, since you three are cartoon cats you won't stick out as much, but me being from reality I'm gonna turn a few skulls. So listen up. Orio, see those back doors over there?"

Orio turned his head before nodding.

"Good, I need you too see if you can get into the back rooms. You're stealthy enough, see what you can sniff out."

Orio's already cartoonishly-big eyes widened in excitement. Finally, his first stealth mission.

"What about me?" Video whined.

Joan grinned. "You're just the kitty for this part, Video. See that Die-man over there?"

"Yeah?"

"That's King Dice, manager of this Casino."

"I thought the Devil was the manager." Prim said.

"He _owns_ the Casino, Mr. King Dice is the manager. So in other words, he's _The Devil's right hand man."_ Joan sang the last part. "Anywho, Video, you have a way with conmen and villains in general. I need you to strike up some small talk with him, as well as keep him distracted. See if you can pick up anything from him."

"And me?" Prim asked.

"You, Prim, are going to sniff around the skeletons. You don't have to talk to them, just eavesdrop in, got it?"

"So... in other words, I'm in stealth mode too?" Prim queried.

Joan nodded.

"Aww... How come I can't go into stealth mode?" Video whined again.

"Can't have everything, Vid." Joan said as she took out some notes. "Any questions?"

"Yeah, why are we even doing this?" Orio asked.

Joan cocked an eyebrow. "Weren't you listening on the way here?"

"I was having my catnap."

The Authoress sighed. "We are here on a mission for the FHU, the Fandom Heroes Union. Several villains from various fandoms have been overheard talking about the owner of this here hellhole. This is a bit strange, since fandom characters can only stay in their fandoms unless accompanied or assisted by someone from the Realm of Reality, which is where I'm from. Several of the heroes suspect that the Devil may be plotting something with the other villains."

Orio yawned. "Wait, how can they do that without the help of a fanfic writer?"

Joan pointed her index finger at the furball. "Aye, that's where the mystery comes in. We have two theories on what could be going on. One: some diabolical fanfic writer out there is causing this."

Orio grew worried. Corrupt fanfic authors were never good. Especially when they were fangirl writers who shipped everybody. "And the second theory?"

Joan's face grew serious. "Two: One of the villains themselves is from Reality, and is causing these crossovers to occur."

Prim scrunched her heart-shaped nose. "How's that possible? No fandom villain exists in Reality."

Joan shook her finger again. "We might be wrong, Miss Calico." The Authoress pointed to the doors that lead to the Devil's office. "Some of us heroes suspect that _he_ may be no fandom character at all, but a Real Villain, just as I am a Real Hero."

The feline trio gasped as the "DON DON DOOON" music played in the casino. Cartoon logic?

Joan then smiled. "And that, my friends, is what we are here to find out! Since I can crossover into any fandom I please (since I'm an Authoress) we are the perfect team to uncover this mystery. The sooner we find out the identity of this Real or Fictional Demon, the sooner we can uncover what evil plot is unfolding."

The cats gave her blank stares, until Video sneezed, shooting out a sticky bugger vine from his nose.

"You guys get all this, right?" Joan asked. Her cats could be pretty clueless at times.

The cats were quiet for a moment. Then Prim asked "Can't we just ask the Devil if he's real or not?"

The three heroes gave her looks that said, "Don't ask stupid questions."

"I'm ready to do some demon hunting!" Video piped up.

"We're not going to attack him, heck we're gonna avoid him if we can. If he's really from Reality, then we want ta' leave pretty quick." Joan retorted.

Video huffed in annoyance. Joan ignored him. "Alright, Ya'll know what to do?" Joan asked.

"Yeah, you just told us." Video mumbled.

"Excellent! Now go out there and sniff 'em out!"

The cats scattered, leaving Joan to go over her case file. The young Authoress turned up her trench coat collar to hide her realistic face. The navy-blue coat itself was a cartoon coat, complements of Mickey Mouse. The two of them were old friends. In fact, it was the old mouse who recommended Joan for the mission. Normally when people got trapped in Cuphead it was through some magic pencil or a freak accident of some sort. But thanks to Joan's magic she could hop in and out of fandoms with ease.

That is, when her wand was working.

For the past few days her Authoress Wand had been glitching, which normally happened when she needed it the most. When the wand was working Joan had no problem causing a ruckus, but in this case, she's gonna air on the side of caution. The purple wand was currently tucked under her jacket sleeve that was if she needed it she didn't have to search for the darn thing.

As Joan studied the records provided by various fandom heroes, Video strolled up to Dice. Video was the con-kitty of the crew, so he normally dealt with villains. Wearing his poker-face, the feline cleared his throat.

OOO

King Dice was watching some skeletons gamble from a distance when an "a-hem" caught his attention. Looking down, he saw a cartoon kitten giving him a relaxed expression. The feline was black and white, though mostly black with his face being split in half with black and the kitten's head rested a green cap that was too big for him. He wasn't from 30s cartoons, he seemed to be an original design. An OC, no doubt.

"Yo, you Mister-Gamiest-in-the-Land?" The kitten asked.

King Dice grinned. "You know your characters, boy. And who might you be?"

The cat jumped onto a nearby table so they could see eye-to-eye. "Friends call me Vid. Sent in an application a couple days ago. Just wanted to make sure ya'll got it."

Dice raised an eyebrow. "A villain application-?"

The cat scoffed. "I wish. My owner would never let me be a villain. But I need a Summer job, and I heard you're hirin'."

King Dice rubbed his non-existent chin. Wasn't uncommon for OCs to get Summer jobs. Even though OCs worked more during the school year, when their creators were too occupied in Reality, Summer is the time when things get busy for the fandoms, when all the fangirls were on break. As a result, almost every store, company, restaurant, etc were hiring during the Summer.

And the Casino was no exception.

"The Devil's always hiring." King Dice said with a smirk.

"Vid" returned the grin. "Awesome. Ya'll need a little guy like me?"

King dice chuckled. He liked this kid already. "Depends on what you got, kiddo."

"I may not look like much, but I can give trouble, and ain't that exactly what Villains look for in a person?"

King Dice put his gloved hand on the table and leaned over the kitten. "Depends on who you give the trouble to."

"Well, I can give heroes a hard time." Vid said.

Dice straitened. "Well, you certainly seem like a good pawn in the game, but we'll have to see your application first."

Vid shrugged. "That's cool, man. In the meantime, how 'bout you show me the ropes of this joint. I heard people have a hell of a time down here."

King Dice eyed the gambling skeletons and grinned. "Ever played a round of craps, kid?"

OOO

Nothing like seeing undead toons break out into quarrels to rattle the nerves of an Authoress. Joanfenny quietly slurped her root beer as she watched the skeletons fight over poker. They were all probably drunk from the illegal alcohol. This was the prohibition era, after all.

 _MatPat was right, it is fitting to have illegal booze in Satan's Casino. That is, if it is the Devil._ Joan prayed it was not, but the rumors have been telling her otherwise. The girl studied the accounts the heroes had left her, hoping to find any clues or connections. They were all separated in tan-colored files each labeled a silly phrase to avoid suspicion.

The first report was from the hero of the fandom Joan currently resided in, Cuphead. He said that there had been a rumor going around that the Devil was leaving his Casino more than usual, which was making the townsfolk nervous.

 _ **"Mugs and I were chasing a monarch butterfly the other day when we passed The Root Pack. The Onion was crying and the three-eyed carrot was pacing nervously. When we asked what was the matter, they told us they heard the Devil was leaving his Casino a lot. We went away worried, so we started asking the other bosses what they heard. Some of them weren't aware of the rumor. Others did hear and were bracing themselves for the worst. We ran home to Elder Kettle and he said that this should go to the FHA."**_

The next report was from Luke Skywalker, a Star Wars hero and old friend of Joans.

 _ **"Actually, it was my dad who told me this. He asked to meet me on Planet Truce one day, said it was an emergency. So we met up at the golf course that we go to every other Sunday. He seemed worried, which was a bit unlike him. When I asked him what was wrong he told me that his Master, Emperor Palpatine, has been meeting up with a villain, but won't tell Vader about it. Vader thought he was plotting against him,which wasn't uncommon. I mean, they're villains. At one point Vader caught a glimpse of the Villain Palpatine's been talking to, and his description of the beast didn't match any aliens I knew. Tall, covered in brown fur, had huge yellow eyes and long horns that towered over it's head. Vader told me that the most unsettling thing about him was the creature's smile.**_

 _ **'It stretched from ear to ear,' he said, 'And was filled with razor-sharp teeth.' "**_

Reports like these were piling in left and right. Eventually Mickey Mouse got the word, and he stepped into action right away. Soon all the fandom heroes that were part of the FHU gathered at Planet Truce to discuss the situation. Unfortunately since "Cuphead" wasn't owned by Disney, Mickey and his gang, or really any heroes from any fandom, could go in and investigate. The Cup brothers volunteered to help, but they would most likely be kicked out thanks to that whole "boss battles against King Dice and Devil incident." Eventually Joan was called in, one thing lead to another, and now...

"Ugh..." Joan moaned. "Why me...?"

OOO

There wasn't much of Orio's adventure to tell, except that he found the Casino's kitchen. The rest is self-explanatory.

OOO

 _What is it with kids being such good gamblers these days?_

"Vid" was proving himself a natural at the game of craps. With a flick of the wrist and a role of the die the cat was causing long-timer gamblers to go into dept.

"Golly, ya can't lose, can ya?" King Dice sneered.

Vid smirked. "I was taught by the best, die-man."

Vid was about to answer when another feline strutted up to him and put her paws on the table. "Hey bro." She said.

"What're doin' here?!" Vid hissed under his teeth.

"I'm bored. Plus the skeletons kept rambling about talking cigars and poker disks. What are you playing?"

"Craps. And I'm winnin' too." Vid rolled another round and got two sixes. "Bingo!" He cheered.

King Dice studied Vid's sister. She was a small calico with a big purple bow on her neck. Unlike her brother, everything about spoke "Prim and Proper," from her posture to her well-kept fur to the way she looked at the other players.

"And what's your name, little lady?" King Dice quired, flashing a smile.

The girl was startled by the sudden question, and answered softly, "Prim."

Huh, so everything about her _was_ Prim and Proper.

"Have ya ever played craps, doll-face?"

Prim shook her head. "I don't gamble, sir."

"Well maybe ya could learn some things from your brother here-"

Suddenly a pair of doors banged open in a dramatic entrance. For a brief moment the jazz music stopped and the place went so silent you could here a card drop. All eyes focused on the new arrival, who was none other than the Devil himself.

OOO

Joan noticed the change of setting the moment she heard the door-slam before everything silenced. Looking up from her notes, the Authoress' blood ran cold.

 _NONONONONONONONONO!_

OOO

Prim gasped and hid behind her brother, who was at a lose of what to do. But soon the moment ended, and everyone went back to their business. The jazz and the clanging of poker chips resumed as if nothing happened.

"Boss!" King Dice called. "This lad here's been crokin' our costumers for the past hour!"

"Uh... that's a good thing, right?" Vid asked weakly. He lost his voice for a moment.

Slapping the cat's shoulder, Dice said. "This boy's got luck on his side, and not only that, he hopes to work here soon!"

"Seriously?" Prim hissed to her brother.

The Devil raised an eyebrow. "Really? How good are ya, kiddo?" His voice was deep and sent chills down the cat's spines.

Video swallowed. "I can make Batman go into dept if ya give me enough time."

"Video!" Prim snapped under her breath.

"What? I you don't believe me?" Video asked over his shoulder.

"No, it's just... w-we gotta go." Prim tugged her brothers shoulder.

"Aw, come on toots, the fun's just starting." King Dice said.

"W-Well, actually my b-bother and I need to get going-"

"Before the boy can show his real talent? I don't think so." Dice insisted.

"Whatdya mean 'real talent?'" Video asked.

The Devil grinned, revealing his yellowed teeth. "Ya hope ta work here, eh?"

This time it was Video who stumbled. "I-I- well... yeah."

The Devil chuckled. "Well, let's see if ya got what it takes." Holding out two dies, he said. "Prove ta me that you're a real gambler. Win, and all the loot in my casino is yours. If not, I get you and ya sisters souls, deal?"

"Nope!" Prim shouted. She pulled her brothers arm with all her might. "We reeeeeally should be going, c'mon Video."

"Aw, what a wimp." A nearby skeleton sneered. "Ya really gonna let your sister boss ya around, boy?"

"Video listen to me, there's no way he'd raise the stakes that high without there being a catch. Remember in the game itself? The cups lost to a deal just like this!" Out of the three kittens, Prim was the most logical.

"I think ya just got no confidence in your brother, toots." King Dice snickered.

"You don't think I can't win?" Video asked his sister, looking slightly offended.

Prim frowned. "I _know_ you won't win, bro. It's too risky-"

"C'mon sis, you know me, I was born for risks." Video's furry chest puffed up with pride.

Prim's toony eyes widened with alarm. These villains were starting to get to her brother, feeding off his greed.

The calico started searching the casino, hoping to see Joan. King Dice noticed this odd behavior. Searching the room, his black eyes fell onto a realistic-young woman. She wasn't from any fandom Dice could recall, so he theorized that she was either an OC or an authoress.

Whatever she was, it was clear to Dice that she was not liking the scene before her. The girl stared at the Devil and cats with alarm. Every muscle in her body was tense, as if she was bracing herself for the worst. Dice also noticed something with a magenta glow under her left coat sleeve. Eventually the two made eye contact. The woman's teal eyes grew wide with fear. But King Dice only flashed her a grin before returning to the current situation. Whether or not she got involved in this was none of his concern.

"This is not a risk, Video! This is suicide! If you have any common sense in your fur you won't do it!" Prim hissed.

The gambler had enough of his sister's bickering. "Shut up Prim, you're always bossin' Orio and I around as if your our mom! I ain't putting up with your cat litter! Give me those dice!"

The boy grabbed the dice from the Devil's palm and was about to roll them when-

" _VIDEO! DON'T YOU DARE!"_

All heads snapped to the girl. She was standing up now, her back arched in fury. She had snapped up from her chair so quickly it fell to the floor with an echoed " _BANG_!" A couple papers fell to the floor from the vibrations the chair made.

So much for keeping low profile.

Video was so startled by his owner's screams that the dice slipped out of his black paws. Joan screamed as she raced towards the gambling table, hoping to grab the die before they hit the board. But it was too late.

"Snake eyes." The Devil sneered.

 **Authoress' note:** _ **NO TIME FOR AN EPOLGUE I GOTTA SAVE VIDEO FROM HIS OWN STUPIDITY REMEMBER TO** **REVIEW** **FOLLOW AND FAVORITE BYYYYYYYEEEE!**_


	2. Boss Battle Fail

**Authoress' note: _NOTIMEFORANINTROIHAVETOSAVEMYOCSFROMCERTAINDEATH-_**

 **Oh look, reviews. Okay, We have a few seconds.**

 **Pink Fox Productions: Yup, this crossover is gonna be like nothin' you've seen before!**

 **Twins 'n Fandoms: Unfortunately, we do not have finger guns. But I do have another source of power...**

 **VA8tZ: Uh... thank you? I have no idea what you said but OHCRAPIDON'THAVETIMETOFIGUREITOUTBECAUSETHEDEVIL'SABOUTTOSTEALMYOCS!**

 **I own nothing but my OCs, by the way.**

Over the years King Dice has seen hundreds of OCs, FCs, even a few people from Reality lose their souls one way or another. They all kicked and screamed, and these felines were no exception. Well, the female that is. Vid seemed to be frozen in time, his paws open over the craps table while he stared at the dice in horror. Prim, on the other hand, screamed as if the dice had turned into snakes. She grabbed her brother and tried to run, but with a little green magic King Dice had them suspended in the air. Prim continued to squirm and scream, her brother was limp, his big eyes on the Devil with absolute dread. The skeletons who were watching started laughing at Prim's pathetic escape attempts.

"Where do you two think your goin'?" The Devil sneered. "Think you can run away without-"

Suddenly a ray of Magenta Magic shot Dice's hand, breaking the spell he had over the two cats. Dice hissed in pain and he rubbed his singed glove. The two cats plopped to the ground and retreated to the ray's source. The entire Casino became deadly quiet as all eyes rested upon... a girl?

The same girl that had been watching the game earlier. The two cats hid behind each leg of the human. She had her wand out in battle postion, her face stone calm as she glared at the two bosses, although it was more at the Devil than King Dice.

"J-Joan- he-Vid- I-" Prim's voice became raspy with fear as her body shook.

"Stay behind me." The girl, who apparently was "Joan," said.

"Joan, I'm s-so sorry-" Vid tried to apologize.

"Quit apologizing and start praying." Joan snapped. From the tone of her voice, she seemed to know what she was getting herself involved in.

For a moment Joan and the villains faced off one another, none of them speaking. Nobody knew what to say exactly. King Dice knew that this kid could not be from this world, but then how did she get here?

It was The Devil who spoke first. With a toothy grin, he said, "Well well well, what's a pretty girl like you-"

Joan cut him off. "Finish that sentence and I'm gonna stab you with a crucifix. I'm just leaving, with _my_ cats."

" _Your_ cats?" The Devil sneered. "That boy practically handed them both over nice and gift wrapped."

"B-But I... I-I-"

"Shut up, Video." Joan scolded. She slowly backed up to her table, not taking her eyes off the two.

"You're a dumb dora thinkin' you can just leave with those kids. Unless you want to get dragged to Hell too, toots, hand over the fuzzballs." The Devil straitened to his full height, his shadow just about to touch the shoes of the girl.

"Joooooaaaaan!" Prim wailed. "It's not fair! It's not fair, I'm innocent!"

"Yet, I have your soul all the same. Now hand them over."

Joan gave him a quizzed look. "Okay, wait, I'm confused. Prim makes a good point. She did nothing wrong, why should you take her?"

"What about me?" Video whined.

"I'm not gonna let him snag you too, Vid."

"It's how things are done down here, Miss... Joan, was it?" The Devil asked. "I'm the one who makes the rules around this joint. That boy bet there souls, and lost. Don't try to use justice or logic to free them."

"But- But-" Prim whimpered.

Some of the skeletons began to snicker. It was always entertaining to watch the damned beg for their lives.

Joan took a shaky breath. King Dice noticed how pale she was becoming. The Game piece was concerned that she might puke on the nice scarlet rug. She took several steps back, and the Devil took serveral steps forward.

"S-Stay back!" The girl hissed. The arm holding the wand was beginning to tremble.

"This is my Casino, doll. I do as I please." He took another step.

"STAY BACK!" Joan screamed in panic, blasted a powerful ray at him. The Devil, not even batting an eye, slid out of the way. The ray shook the casino as it put a crater in the opposite wall. King Dice wrenzed. If she aims at him he's gonna ave to move pretty quick. Looking back at the girl, he saw that her face was twisted with anger and her eyes glowed the wand's magenta color.

 _Either she is gonna die, or we are._

OOO

Joan still didn't know whether he was the real Devil or not, but that didn't matter at this point. He just stole two of her cats right under her nose. That was Devilish enough for her.

Joan trembled as the beast stood before her. She had seen him plenty of times in the game, she even joked about his appearance with her friends. Now that she was seeing him in person, there was no mockery coming from her. He looked like a giant furry monster with horns and obnoxious bat ears. His too-wide smile really unnerved her, that and his sharp teeth.

This demon meant business.

"L-Last time, D-Devil. Stay back. You're not taking them."

"Do ya plan on stopping me with your little light show?" The Devil chuckled. "SEIZE HER!"

Suddenly an army of purple demons came out of every nook and cranny of the casino and swarmed the Authoress. Panicked exploded in her stomach as she screamed and blasted the purple minions with her wand. The skeletons were also alarmed by the sudden guests and they all began to flee the room. The jazz band started playing something a little more dramatic as the room erupted with chaos. Glasses broke, Skeletons banged into one another and crumbled to pieces, purple demons howled with laughter as they clawed at Joan. Joan kicked one between the eyes, another she grabbed its arms and chucked it at two more demons.

Joan swooped up her cats and ran back to her table. "In the bag!" She screamed as she stuffed them into the haven.

"Joan- what are you-" Prim squealed.

"We're finding your brother and getting out of here!" Swinging the bag over she shoulder, she frantically searched for the back doors. Blasting purple demons are she ran, she was just about to reach the doors when-

"-DON'T LET HER GET AWAY!" The Devil boomed.

"Aw crap!" Joan yelled. With the noise in the room, it was difficult to be heard without screaming.

King Dice slid right in front of her as she reached the doors. "Not so fast, Betty." He sneered. His smoked hand glowed green magic. Before Joan could yell at him to move, an army of cards sprung from his sleeve.

"$%# you!" Joan screamed. "I don't got time for this!"

"What's going on? Are we winning?" Video asked as he squirmed in the bag, accidentally kicking Joan in the ribs.

"Ow!" Joan grunted. Facing off King Dice, she sneered, "You want a boss battle, block head?! I'll-"

 _WHACK!_

Something whammed Joan in the back of the head so hard she tumbled to the ground. She spun around (despite her head's protests) and gasped as the Devil loomed over like the grim reaper, overlarge pitchfork in hand.

"Ow ow! Joan you're sitting on my leg!" Prim whined. "Joan? Are you dead?"

"Well well, looks like it's game over before it even started." The Devil hissed. Before Joan could move the Devil grabbed her throat and yanked her in the air, the bag falling off of her in the process.

"Oof!" Video grunted. "Hey, what's going on? Joan, you still there?"

Joan squirmed with all her might as air was closed off from her lungs, she tried to scream, but all that came out were weak gasps.

"Oh crap, Joan's dead. That's it I'm out!" A small, round head appeared in the bag's fabric. "Where's the zipper- ah!" The bag was pulled in the air by King Dice, who stared at it as if it was a pair of dirty socks. "Well, that was quick." He noted. "Normally boss battles around here take closer to 30 minutes. Maybe an hour." The bag in his hands squirmed as the two kittens recognized the Characters' voice.

"No no no no! Video this is your fault!"

"I-I was tricked! I-I... uh... where's Joan?!"

"What should we do with them?" King Dice asked, nodding towards the bag.

"Those cat's are useless. This kid here's far more valuable."

The Devil lightened his grip slightly, allowing the girl to breath. Joan hungrily drank in air as the Devil chuckled.

"Now I can't wait to hear this story. An Authoress sneaking into my Casino." He boomed. "Were ya hoping for an ultimate boss battle, toots?"

Joan pried at the claw gripping her throat. Her face turned red as it swelled with blood. "I'm n-not an Authoress-"

The Devil laughed. "Kid, please, you can't fool the Father of Lies."

"Joan! Joan!" Prim screamed. "Come on Joan! Do something!"

"You're friends a dead girl, kitty." King Dice opened the bag and reached inside. He yelped with pain when Video bit it and Dice dropped the bag. The two felines scurried out of the pack, but with the army of cards standing in their way there was nowhere to flee. Video, running out of options, arched his back and growled as his tail grew poofy. His sister hissed in fright.

"Joan..." She whimpered, watching her owner fight for her life.

The Devil chuckled, sending shivers down the cat's spines. Looking at the girl, he said,"What, no smart remarks? No magic? Let me make something clear to ye, kiddo, anyone who opposes me will be destroyed, Reality or Fictional."

"But fictional characters can't kill people from reality." Prim objected.

"And what make's you think I'm fictional, Calico?"

Joan stopped struggling, the facts sinking in like a rock in a pond. No. No no no. That can't be true... this was a goddang video game fandom, not some literal hellhole.

"I-I... you're Real?!" Prim screamed.

"I'm the real deal, toots."

 _If this guys says "toots" one more time I am going to scream!_ Joan was losing air, black circles were appearing in her vision as her head became light and dizzy. Running out of options, she resorted to her final weapon.

"Dice, take these kids down to my office. I'll deal with them later." Turning to Joan, he said, "Now... what am I going to do with y-"

 _"_ PATER NOSTER, QUI ES IN CAELIS SANCTIFICETUR NOMEN TUUM _-"_ Joan screamed. The holy words caused the Devil's ears to burn, resulting with him roaring in pain. The howling startled Dice and the cards, and the cards all tobbled over. Joan fell to the floor, the sudden movement hurting her brain. Her brain still had a major lack of oxygen, so the last thing Joan remembered was Video and Prim running up to her before she passed out.

 **Orio's note: (Chewing on food) Oh! Uh... hi guys... is this an end note? Why am I doing this? Doesn't Joan normally do this? Where is Joan? Is she okay? When she's not doing end notes that means she's either busy or captured my demons. Eh, she's probably fine. Anyway, Favorite, Follow, and Review I guess. (This better not become a norm, I'm a busy kitty, I ain't got no time for end notes.)**

 **(Goes back to chewing on food)**


	3. This Is Not Good

**Orio's note: Hey, home come I still have to do these?! Can't I eat my bacon soup in peace?! Why isn't Joan doing this?!**

 **Oh lookie, reviews!**

 **LordMaRiFrizi: Wait, there was a cliffhanger? What happened? Where's Joan?!**

 **Louise: (waves paw) Hi Louise! Where was I, You ask? Um... well I'm currently in the kitchen... so... what exactly do you mean by "when this was happenin'?" Did I miss something important?**

 **SLS: (Growls) You... (cues cowboy standoff music)**

 **Uh... anyway... I guess we continue with the story... wait... oh hi Mr. Skeleton- what're doing? Wait... don't come near me, don't come- augh! Put me down! Let go! I have rights!**

 **Oh, and Joan own's nothing but her OCCCCCSSSS- (Carried off by Skeleton)**

Orio was the second smartest of the feline trio, the first being Prim and the last being Video (but I'm sure you already figured that part out), but it doesn't mean he had superb intelligence, or common sense for that matter. Anyone with an ounce of common sense in their skull would know that villain food, especially from Hell's kitchen, are not to be trusted (or free).

"Okay listen, I don't know what the big deal is man! I only had three sausages, and the cook said they were free! They can't be that pricey, right?! I know people who can pay! My owner's right outside in the casino and I'm sure she'd be willing to lend a buck to two..." Orio begged as he was carried down the narrow hallway. Minutes before a skeleton wearing some casino uniform came into the kitchen and grabbed him by the back of his neck. He didn't say anything, but he had the universal expression of "you're in trouble." The two of them trekked down the hall, passing other skeletons and a couple of OCs Orio recognized on Deviantart. Eventually they reached an ominous pair of double doors. A sulfur-like stench poisoned the air and the pleas from the boss' latest victims came from the room.

"Wait... is that-" Orio wasn't able to finish his sentence because the skeleton gave three echoed knocks on the door.

"Enter." Said a deep voice.

"Uh... what's going on-?" The doors opened and Orio was carried in, and the sight before him made him screech. It was a large office made of dark brown and red wood. At the end of it sat an expensive-looking desk with the most hideous thing sitting at it. The... bear (?) had huge bat ears and long yellow horns. Standing next to him was the die-man Orio saw earlier. Sitting on the desk, surrounded by poker chips and bags of money (that may or may not have blood on them), were two traumatized felines.

"Found the third one." The Skeleton mumbled as it tossed Orio onto the table. Orio landed with an "oof" and bumped into Video.

When the cat collected himself, he noticed how strange his brother and sister were behaving. Video was looking down, the look of guilt sketched on his face. Prim, on the other hand, was crying quietly.

"... What happened?" Orio asked no one in particular.

"Well well, you must be the 'brother' Joan was talking about earlier." The bear-monster said. Orio looked upat him. He'd seen ugly villains before, but this guy had this eeriness to him you'd only see in nightmares.

"Uh... I guess? And who are you, the Sasquatch?" Orio asked.

The monster laughed, his voice resembling nails on a chalkboard. The three cats cringed in a way only cartoons could.

"That's _him_ , Orio." Prim whispered, not looking at the villain in the eye.

"Who?"

"You know who!"

"Uh...?"

"IT'S THE FRICKIN' DEVIL ORIO!" Prim screamed.

Orio blinked. "Oh. Oh-OH!" Looking up at the villain, he said, "Uh... hi?"

Prim rolled her eyes.

The Devil leaned forward, his arms resting on the desk. "So... Orio, is it? I'm curious to know where you were when the fight broke out."

Orio leaned his head back, his ears flat on his head. "There was a fight?"

"Yeah," Prim huffed. "There were these purple minions and skeletons were banging into each other and Joan was zapping left and right!"

"Sounds like a hi-jinks battle in fanfics." Orio noted. "Did we win?"

"Does it look like we won?!" Prim screeched, causing Orio to cringed. "Joan collapsed for some weird reason- I donno I was in the bag half the time- and there were these card monsters... you seriously didn't hear anything?"

"My head was stuck in a can of bacon soup."

OOO

Joan didn't know who she wasn't to kill first, Video, the Devil, or King Dice, but one of them (or more) was definitely going to experience her rage when she got out her cell.

In the meantime, she had to figure out _how_ she was going to get out.

When Joan first woke up, it didn't take her long to realize that her skeleton guards outside the cell were just water colored backgrounds. Neither of them moved or spoke simple because they couldn't. Joan waited for several long minutes, seeing if guards would pass by on patrol. When nothing happened, Joan dug into her coatsleeve for her wand. When her hand grasped empty air, her stomach dropped.

"No."

Where was it last?! When did she last use it?! Joan filtered through her fogged brain. Oh right, she was about to challenge King Dice when-

Oh crap.

"No no no." Joan hissed. "That little son of a..."

Joan stood up, grasping the cold cell bars. The bars themselves were not watercolored, so they shook as she trembled with rage. It took all of Joan's willpower not to scream.

That little prick stole her wand. Her magic. Her power.

And also her only way out of there.

Joan's wand ran on fictional magic, a power only available in fictional worlds. Since Joan was from Reality she couldn't produce it herself, but with the power of imagination she managed to find a way to wield it. That wand was how she traveled, without it she was completely helpless.

Joan took several deep breaths, forcing herself to calm down. "It's okay... it's okay... he can't use it. And even if he could, I demon-proofed it before I left. There's no way he can get the magic." Besides, he wouldn't need it anyway. Black magic was far more powerful than fictional magic... and far more dangerous.

"Alright, Joanie. Your the Authoress. Think of something." Joan began to pat herself down, searching for a weapon. "I'm sure I have a spare lightsaber or mace or..." Joan pulled a key out of her black pants.

The key had a very toony look to it. Weird, Joan didn't have any toony keys.

Joan eyed the gates. Shrugging, she slipped the key into the keyhole.

Perfect fit.

As the gates swung open, Joan gaped.

"Cartoon logic." She said flatly. This was Cuphead after all, nothing made sense around here.

"Hang in there guys, I'm coming." Joan whispered as she slipped down the sulfer-stenched hall. The walls were all gates containing various prisoners, the only light source being torches held by mounted skeleton hands. The eeriness had little effect on her, her determination seemed to narrow her vision. Whatever was ahead, whatever was in store, Joan only knew one thing:

No one messed with her OCs.

OOO

Meanwhile, far away on Planet Truce, a utopia for all people- real or fictional- a young man felt something stir in his heart. It felt like a cross between worry and panic. Strange, there was no reason for him to be alarmed. He was simply taking a break in a deli's booth. The urge seemed to be coming from an outside source. The OC gripped his chin in thought. He didn't have telepathy, how could he sense the emotions of another unless...

...Unless he was connected to them?

The teen stood up, searching the crowd for his sister. For whatever reason his bond with his Creator has been reawaken, but the situation didn't look good.

 **Authoress' note: (whispers) Hi, everyone, I'm back from a long break (sorry I haven't updated in, what, two weeks?) Anyway, make sure you follow, favorite, and review. And Louise, about your "author squad" suggestion, hang onto that thought, will ya?**


	4. Walgreens, Bibles, and Swedish Fish

**Authoress' note: (whispers) Hey guys, I'm back. I'm currently in stealth mode deep underground, that's why it took so long to update, but I hope this chapter is to your liking.**

 **Hey look, reviews! The only source of light down here (except for my phone screen)**

 **SLS: Yes, my writer's block does seem to be fading away. About damn time... Hang on... WHAT DO YOU MEAN TOO MUCH ORIO?!**

 **LordMaRiFrizi: Casino's are bad news in fandoms, expecially when run by people who look like wingless bats with pitchforks.**

 **Twins 'n Fandoms: I saw your fanart! Grace looks so cute! I love how she seems to be smiling through the pain. (C'mon, Grace, that dress looks adorable on you! Bendy seems to like it too!;))**

 **TheFandomHopper: Yes, an Author squad. But don't expect it anytime soon, we got a lot of other shinadagins to get through first.**

 **TheLexTurtle : Oh hey! You're back! Yeah, this is an adventure I've had in the back of my head for a while now. I love all the attention my felines are getting. I don't see a lot of stories breaking the fourth wall, so I hope to change that. Love your Cuphead story, by the way!**

 **mhuntington: (TheLexTurtle and I): Aww! Thanks!**

 **gemstarz22 : Writers block, my friend, writers block. But I'm back in business!**

 **I own nothing but my OCs. (Well, actually only Orio right now, since... you know...)**

If Prim was good at anything that wasn't prim and proper, it was ranting. All of the characters- demons, OCs, and FCs- tried to shut her up, but once Prim got going about something there was no stopping her. Kind of like Squigglydigg. Eventually the ranting turned into arguing with the Casino's owner, and they were currently going on about... cantos... or something...?

 _"I've read the stupid guidebook, and nowhere do the nine circles have a place for cartoon feline who has no mark on her soul...!"_ Prim screamed, her throat starting to crack from wear.

Her brothers sat side by side, watching the girl rant. Video leaned towards Orio and asked, "Any idea what she's talking about?"

Orio shrugged. "I think it's a book called 'Dante's Inferno,' Joan had to read it for school."

Video frowned, "Isn't that basically a hitchhikers guide to hell... How does Prim know about that? She's more into stuff like My Little Pony."

"She like's the classics, besides her rant's buying us some time."

"Time for what? We're doomed." Video bit back.

Orio smirked and shook his head. "Don't ya see? Prim's yakking is giving Joan time to plot a rescue. She's gonna bust down the door, swoop us up, punch the bad guys in the face, and soon we'll be in home in time for dinner. And if we're lucky, she'll do with an awesome soundtrack."

Video cocked his head. "You sure about that?"

Orio chuckled. "Bro, this is an Authoress we're talking about here."

OOO

"This is Cuphead, not Little Nightmares!" Joanfenny screamed as a giant demonic chief chased her around the kitchen. When Joan escaped her first move was to find Orio, since he wasn't part of the fight. From knowing her feline the first place Orio would hit is the kitchen, and the fur-covered soup can proved her her point. Unfortunately she was not the only resident in the room. A giant goat-looking demon with short human legs spotted her and gave chase.

"Who ya callin' little? I'm the biggest nightmare you'll ever see." The demon snarled as it whacked its spatula in her direction. "I'm gonna turn ya into meat pie, toots!"

"Don't call me toots!" Joan snapped. She started digging in her pockets, seeing if cartoon logic would assist her once again. Her pants weren't providing much since they were clothes from reality, but her cartoon trench coat was being helpful... sort of. She threw pens, lip balm, nail polish, earphones, bobby pins, a curling iron (?), Advil pills, stylish boots, and pringles at the foe, all which harmlessly bounced off it.

"Ya gonna have ta do better than that! After I eat ya, ya gonna have to clean this mess up! No one messes with Buba's kitchen."

"Eat this, ya can-eating devil!" Joan shouted as she thrust more hammerspace items in it's direction. The monster opened its mouth to release a demonic screech, but stopped when the contents flew inside. The huge demon halted, chewing the flavorful contents before it's eyes became cartoonishly wide with delight. Joan noticed the change and turned around.

"What is this delicious gooey stuff ya threw?"

"Um... I donno..." Joan reached into her pockets and pulled out a handful of candy. "Oh... Swedish fish."

"And where did you get this 'Swedish fish?'"

"Uh... well... you can find them at Walgreens..."

The demon slumped on all fours to look at Joan in the eye. "Take Buba to Walgreens." It boomed.

Joan gulped. "Uh... I... can't exactly. Are you a real demon or an OC?"

"I'm not a real demon, real demons torture souls, I just cook 'em. But human souls get old after a while."

Joan nodded slowly. "Yeah... they can, I guess. Hey, um, tell you what, I can't take you to Walgreens, but I have a big batch of Swedish fish in my backpack. If you help me find my backpack, I'll give you all the Swedish fish, deal?"

The demon thought for a moment. "Deal, toots."

"Don't call me toots."

OOO

"Enough of this, you bratty furball!" The devil boomed as he banged his fist on the table, startling the felines. "If ya think you can tire me out with your bantering, then ya sorely mistaken. I got eternity, unlike you."

Prim flattened her ears and reared back, shuffling to her brothers. Orio was nervously looking between the door and the devil while Video just stared at the devil. Prim inhaled deeply before saying, "You don't get it. I don't know what you've done with Joan but when she busts out from wherever she is she's gonna kick you so hard you'll fly into Judgement Day!"

"You three are that confident in this Joanie, eh?"

Orio bit his lip. He didn't like where this was going.

"King Dice, why don't you bring that Authoress here, it's time I teach these ferals a lesson."

Video hissed lowly. "He just used the "f" word."

"This ain't good." Orio whispered back.

King Dice walked to the main doors, but as soon as he opened them he was greeted with the smack of a skillet.

The manager stumbled back as his head spun like a spinning-top. Another whack hit his arm, causing a bunch of normal playing card to fall out of his sleeve.

"Who the hell-" King Dice stammered.

"Joanie!" Orio bounced with delight. Turning to Video, he said, "Told ya."

"Guys, get away from that freak!" Joan shouted as she jumped and smacked Dice on the top of his head. Stars danced around the villain as his eyes became swirls.

"C'mon, let's pull a Wally Franks and get outta here!" Orio cheered. He was about to jump off when the devil's claw banged on his tail.

"Not so fast, you runts." The Devil growled.

"Hey!" Joan barked, frisbying the skillet at the beast. The weapon smacked him square in the nose. The skillet left a dent in his face, but it quickly reflated to normal.

"I donno if I was clear with you, you freak of nature, but I said to keep you dirty, slimy little claws _off my cats_!" Joan growled as she stomped towards the foe. "Gambling or no, they ain't you're for the takin-"

A purple-sleeved arm gripped Joan from behind in a head lock. "I'd watch that mouth if I were you, toots." King Dice snapped.

"Hey!" Orio tiger-leaped onto the die, scratching at his face. Various cartoon noises began to play as Joan and Orio hissed and kicked. After several comedic minutes, the devil barked, "Alright, that's enough!" and the three adversaries were shoved by invisible forces to opposite ends of the room. King Dice recovered from the shock cartoonishly fast while Joan was not so lucky.

"You okay?" Orio asked, nudging his owner.

"Do I look like I'm okay?!" Joan said though her teeth.

Orio wisely backed away from her. Joan shakily stood up, her back aching from the blast.

"Why weren't you guys helping?" Joan bit out to Prim and Video.

The two cat's looked at each other, realizing that they _probably_ shouldn't have left the combat to their owner and brother.

"I'm not a fighter, Joan." Prim whimpered.

"Yeah, that part's obvious." Video snorted.

"I don't think you're in the position to make jokes right now, young man." Joan hissed.

Orio cringed. "Ohhhh... bro, you're in _that_ kind of trouble. What did you even do man?"

Everyone stared at Orio. "No one's told you yet?" Joan asked quietly.

Orio frowned. "Look, all I know is that I'm in the kitchen, enjoying some bacon soup, when BAM! Skeleton dude come in and drags me over to this place were I hear that Prim and Video are going to hell for some reason. I mean, Video? Yeah he'd kinda deserve it. But Prim? Why's Prim in trouble?"

"Why do you automatically assume it was me?" Video snapped.

"Cause you're the daredevil of the trio, no pun intended bro."

Video was about to retort, but Joan cut him off. "And since it _was_ Video who got _all_ of us in this mess, I don't blame Orio's theory. You wanna tell your brother what you did, Vid?"

Video began to sweat. "I-I... w-well... I'm sure it's nothin' that can't be fixed..."

"Nothing that can't-! Listen here, Video." Joan matched to the desk and slammed her palms on the table. "Hell isn't some time-out corner you sit in an hour, it's an eternal prison. Once you're in, that's it, your screwed. You're stuck there forever."

"Forever?" Video asked. "How long is that?"

"Forever, as in it never ends." Joan snapped. "Seriously, why did I let you talk to King Dice?! You have a hallow skull for a brain."

"So you told him to talk to King Dice? Were you the one who sent the application?" The Devil asked, puffing his cigar. "Who are you anyway?"

"Me?" Joan scoffed. "I thought you already figured that out."

"You're an Authoress, but normally Authoress' travel to Fandoms they like, you seem to hate this place more than hell itself. And normally they travel with avatar names, you just go by your real name."

"Joan is not my name."

"Then what is it?"

"Walt Disney." Joan snapped. "Look, Luci, I'm not hear for an interrogation, I'm here to take me cats and go. What's it gonna take me to get them out of your claws?"

"What's their worth to you? Just go and make new OCs."

"What's their worth to you?"

"Nothing, but I keep what I win."

"That's a lie."

All heads shot to Joan's direction. King Dice had been quiet for the most part, but his curiosity was getting the best of him.

"And why would you say that, young lady?" King Dice asked.

Joan sighed and pinched her nose. After a minute of silence she started to chuckle. "You think I don't know? You think I don't know what's going on here? 'Oh, they're just OC cats.' Yeah, I'm fully aware of that. But guess what, I know for a fact that they are not what you're after."

"What gave you that assumption?" The Devil growled.

"OCs don't have souls."

The felines gasped. "I don't have a soul?!" Prim screeched, patting herself in shock.

"Only people from reality have souls. What OCs and FCs have is ownerships and copyrights. The only reason you steal fictional characters is to use them to get to the real people who either own them or are entertained by them. And in this case you stole Video and Prim just so you have a bridge to drag me into hell. Am I wrong?!"

Both villains eyes widened in surprised.

How did you...?" The Devil sneered.

"I've done my research. And I don't mean watching Cuphead Gameplay, I mean reading Dante's Inferno, The Screwtape Letters, oh, and a little something called the _Bible_. There is nothing about real demons that I don't know about."

"Whoa." Orio said. "So you're just gonna use my brother and sister against my owner? That's low dude! Why do people like you?"

"I ask myself that everyday." Joan muttered.

"I don't have a soul?!" Prim screamed again.

"Enough, Prim," Joan snapped. Turning to the Devil, she said, "So, am I wrong? The look of shock on your face tells me otherwise."

It took a moment for him to find his voice. "So what if it's true, there's nothing you can do to free them!"

"I'm not leaving without them."

"Then you're gonna be down here for a long time, toots."

Anger boiled inside the Authoress. Clearly this was getting nowhere. But there was one more thing she could try out. "...Fine." She took off her backpack and opened the zipper.

"What are you doing?" King Dice asked.

"Well," said Joan, "Since I'm gonna be stuck here for awhile, might as well make myself comfortable. Maybe get some light reading done while I'm at it."

The Devil was about to ask what she meant when Joan casually pulled out a Bible.

King Dice flinched slightly, but the Devil let out an inhuman screech and backed into his chair as if Joan had just pulled a rabid unicorn baby.

 _"Put that thing away!"_ The Devil screamed.

"Oh, this?" Joan waved the Bible in front of him. "What's wrong with this? It's just a book."

"You know damn well what that thing is! Put it away!"

"Why don't you take it from me." Joan snapped.

The Devil didn't move, he just leaned back as far as he could go. Stream puffed out of his nose like a bull.

"King Dice? You wanna snatch it?" Joan mocked.

King Dice folded his arms. He too was a victim to Holy Relics, although they didn't terrify them like his boss. He gave Joan a daggered stare but said nothing.

Joan shrugged. "Alright. Guess I won't have to share." She opened the book and began to flip through the pages. "Orio, where were we last?"

Orio blinked. Joan had never read the Bible to him. Or maybe she did and he fell asleep again...?

Prim, on the other hand, seemed to catch on to Joan's scheme. "I... think we were somewhere in Mathew."

"Ah, right." Joan opened to the second half. "Mathew 4:1-"

The Devil's eyes widened. _"You wouldn't dare."_

"Oh yes I would." Joan sassed. "I'll read this book cover to cover if I have to. Unless you want to change your mind."

Now it was the Devil glaring daggers. Joan suppressed a shiver. That look was definitely going to haunt her later.

Nonetheless, she continued with the book. "So, after Jesus-"

 _"Alright! Alright!"_

The Devil's shouts were so loud they seemed to shake the building. King Dice side-stepped while Joan jumped and clutched the book like her life depended on it. The cats were so startled that Prim jumped behind Video while Orio played dead.

"Alright, I see your point, kid," the Devil snarled, "But like I said before, I own them now, so unless your willing to..." The Devil tapped his chin in thought.

"What? Run around Inkwell Isles collecting contracts?" Joan snarked.

The Devil was about to retort, when a thought stopped him. Suddenly a Grinch-like grin creeped onto his face.

Joan cringed back. _Me and my stupid mouth._

 **Authoress' note: This... does not look good.**

 **Video: I'll say, you just shoved a Bible in that guys face.**

 **Joan: Well, what am I supposed to use? Fingerguns?**

 **Prim: Yeah, and he is the Devil.**

 **Video: Alright, fair point.**

 **Orio: Follow, Favorite, and Review! And SLS? You Ugandan Knuckles is going DOWN!**

 **Everyone else: ...What?**


	5. Arguing, Arguing, and more Arguing

_**Authoress' Note: Yo people! Joanie here, yes I'm still alive dispute the situation. I can't make a proper intro right now, so this is all in my head. That is why they are in italic. Never thought I'd get in this deep, but I've always wanted to use that Bible trick ever since I heard of this game. I mean, come on, why couldn't Cuphead and Mugman just call a priest? The situation could have been sorted out much quicker. Unfortunately I can't do that right now because my phone is dying and there are no outlets in hell. No wifi either. How sad.**_

 _ **Anywho...**_

 _ **SLS: (sees first review) Uhh... (Sees second review) I'd wish you luck, but Orio would probably pee on my backpack if I did.**_

 _ **Twins 'n Fandoms: You and me both, but it may not come right away. And like I said before, I've always wanted to use the Bible trick.**_

 _ **LordMaRiFrizi: Glad you caught the Walt Disney reference. I think all OCs are derived from their creator one way or another (Makes me a wee bit concerned about Henry Stein...) I hate gummy worms too. And Orio actually hates Oreos. He thinks it's cannibalism.**_

 _ **TheLexTurtle : I hope you did well on your exams. Reading your story's a lot of fun. I love how whenever King Dice flirts with Cassie she's just all like "Nooooooope." Swedish Fish for everyone! Except the Devil of course.**_

 _ **gemstarz22: Funny thing about Orio's name. I created the felines when I was very, very young. At that time I actually thought "Oreo" was spelled "Orio." When I learned the dark truth I was like "eh, I'll keep his name the way it is." You're the first to ask, so congrats to you! And yeah, there's something about references that I always find amusing.**_

 _ **Alright, now we got that out of the way, let's get going. Not like we have eternity unlike some people...**_

 _ **I own nothing but my OCs.**_

 _Why did I say that why did I say that why did I say that why did I say that why did I say that what am I even doing here how did this happen I don't want to be here I don't want to be here I wanna go home I wanna go home I'm not supposed to be here I'd rather be on the Death Star or trapped in Joey Drew studios than be here I'm a good kid I don't get into trouble like this why did I agree to come here Mickey if I come back alive you are SO DEAD-!_

"Uh... Joan?" Orio interrupted Joanfenny from her panicked monologue. "Earth to Joanie? Come in Joanie?"

Joan shook herself out of her panicked monologue. "What?"

"I just _said_ ," The Devil cut in, "I take it you've played the game?"

"What gave you that assumption?"

"Well, clearly you know the lore, and you walk around with cartoon cats."

"Well, no, I haven't."

The Devil's eyes widened with surprise, a solid second passed before he threw his head back in wicked laughter. His laugh resembled a dying cow eating a chainsaw. Joan plugged her ears to keep them from bleeding while the cats struggled to do the same. Unfortunately since their ears were so big and paws so small their ears kept popping strait up.

After the laughing died down Joan said flatly, "I was being serious."

The Devil eyed her. "Really? You walk around with cats that quote BATIM characters and you've never played this game?"

Joan shook her head. "I'm not a gamer. And even if I was I don't like the idea of having to do your dirty work." Pointing her thumb in the direction of the Isles, she added, "Seriously, like half of the people here owe you, doesn't that sound a weeeee bit sketchy?"

"If you've never played the game then why did you come here at all?" The Devil sneered, ignoring her question.

Orio answered first. "We were sent on a special-"

"-Assignment from school." Joan cut in. "I have to write a compare and contrast essay on classic cartoons verse modern cartoons. And since Cuphead is basically both of those I thought it couldn't hurt to stop here."

Joan held her breath in anticipation. Technically she was telling the truth, she did have an essay to write, so he couldn't accuse her of lying.

The Devil stared at her for a good minute before saying "Those papers you left in the Casino told a different story."

Joan's stomach dropped in as the flashbacks kicked in. When she had screamed at Video some of the filed papers fell on the floor. In the chaos she never thought of grabbing them.

Noticing Joan's stunned silence, the Devil continued, "So I believe the cat's answer was actually going to be 'We were sent on a special mission by the Fandom Heroes Union to spy on the Devil?'"

"Well actually," Orio said, "It was going to be more like 'special mission to uncover an evil plot growing amongst the fandom realms,' but that answer works too."

Something inside Joan had a panic attack and died. Metaphorically, of course.

"Okay, you got me." Joan spat out. "You kinda stick out a bit in some of the fandoms you were slithering into. Of course you were going to be investigated by the heroes sooner or later."

"And they sent you." The Devil said, clearly unimpressed.

"Well, like I said before, there's nothing about demons I don't know about. Whatever you turned out being I could deal with you."

"Obviously." The devil snorted as he lit a cigar. "You did a wonderful job."

"I don't need your sarcasm!"

"You don't, huh?!" The devil hissed. Standing up and pointing his finger and Joan, he boomed, "I'll be strait with ya then! I knew from the start that the heroes would be stepping on my tail, I just didn't think they'd send someone as helpless as you. If anything I'm offended that they didn't send a real hero to fight me."

Joan didn't let it show on her face, but that struck a nerve. "Real hero?" She said lowly. Holding up the Bible, she said, "Well then, why don't I just call up a 'real hero' right now! I'm sure He would be more than happy to sort this out."

"Over some stupid cartoon cats?"

"You wanna see for yourself?!"

Meanwhile, the cat's eyes darted from speaker to speaker in awe and impatience. Orio, figuring out that this was going to be a while, pulled a can of tuna from his hammerspace as a small snack.

"This is how we'll die." Video said quietly, "We'll watch them argue until we starve."

"Didn't you pack food?" Orio asked between bites.

"All I keep in my hammerspace are Sega games and nerf guns."

"This is getting nowhere." Prim complained. "At this rate we won't go to hell, they'll just argue forever."

"Not forever," Orio said, "Joan's gonna need to use the restroom at some point."

"You know what I meant." Prim snapped. "Do you have anymore food?"

"You like tuna?"

"Eww. Please tell me you have sushi."

Orio shook his head. "Fresh outta that."

"I'll have some tuna." Video said.

"Fine, leave me to starve." Prim huffed. Looking up at the two beings, she sighed. "We're never going to get any plot advancement at this rate."

King Dice, who at this point had been awkwardly standing in the room at this point, also noticed the lack of advancement and cleared his throat.

"I hate to interrupt, but perhaps it's best to focus on the situation at hand."

The Devil groaned, disappointed to end a heated argument so soon. Joan, on the other hand, mentally sighed in relief.

"You're a stubborn one." The Devil huffed.

"Most fangirls are." Was Joan's reply.

"Well then," King Dice continued, "The boss does make a good point about your obnoxious stubbornness, young lady."

"I'm not leaving without my cats."

"You've already made that clear in various volumes of voice." The Devil snapped, "What exactly are you willing to do to get them back?"

"Smack you with this a couple of times?" Joan pointed to her book.

"Look, you little runt, I'm giving you a chance to pay the dept, I suggest you don't blow it."

Joan bit her lip. _Fair point. Even if I do smack him with the Bible there's still the dept to repay. He may come back when I least expect it. I need a way to get him off my tail for good._

"Fine. What do you have in mind?"

The Devil grinned and pulled a rolled-up yellowed paper from his hammerspace and thrust it towards Joan like a sword.

Joan gave him the most unimpressed look. _He's seriously going to make me run around the Isles._

Joan wordlessly snatched the list and started to scan it. She didn't remember all the boss' names, but none of them seemed to belong on this list. The further she read, the more confusing the situation became.

"Maleficent? Voldemort? The Joker? Captain Hook? Joey Drew- none of these are Cuphead villains!"

"Course not, I got those Cups to do that piece of dirty work."

" _A_ _ll_ these villains are in dept to you?"

"Now your catching on, kid!" Leaning back in his chair, he said, "Ya see, those chinaware brats could only handle the depters within their own realm, since their fictional characters. You, on the other hand, can travel to any realm you please. So your perfect for catching those weaselly runaways."

Prim jumped in Joan's shoulder to take a look at the list. "How exactly is Cruella de Vil in dept?"

"One fur coat too many, I'm guessing." Joan mumbled. To the Devil, she said, "So you want me to travel to these fandoms and recover the contracts? Just like in the game?"

"Exactly."

Joan looked at the devil, then at the list. "You're joking."

"Well, why do ya think I've been slithering around the fandoms? Fellow villains are always ready to make deals for their own benefit."

"Why can't you just get them yourself?"

"Joan..." Video whispered, "Don't blow it..."

"I think that answer should be obvious. I'm already getting some unwanted attention with my business considering that the heroes are sending pests like you. On the other hand, no one gives you a second glance as you go about your day."

Joan bit her lip, unsure if he was referring to her life in reality or her goings in the fandom realms. Her test tightened, but she kept her face neutral.

"So here's the deal. You get the contracts, and we'll pretend that this whole gambling situation never happened."

"No."

Everyone looked at Joan.

"No?" The Devil growled.

"I'm not running around doing your errands."

"Wait!" Video jumped on Joans other shoulder. "What are you doing? This is our one chance out of this."

"I'm with Joan on this one." Prim objected. "We can't trust him."

"C'mon! We've faced villains before! This'll be a piece of catnip."

"Anything evolving this guy is a bad idea! We're good people, we can't get yarn-balled into this!"

"We already are, Prim!"

"Because of you, Video!"

"...Oh yeah..."

"Will you two shut up? You're worse than shoulder angels!" Joan yelled. The cats reared their heads back in surprise.

The Authoress stared at the list for several minutes, the names burning into her memory. The gears in her head grind away as she reviewed the situation. There was something about this that unsettled her beyond belief. She was never one to get involved in bad situations like this, but perhaps she could find a way to get more good than harm out of it.

"Why do you need these so badly?" She asked.

"That's none of your business. I'm losing my patients, toots. Will you do it or not?"

 _DO NOT call me toots._

Joan inhaled deeply. "...Fine."

 _ **Authoress' note: Alriiiiiight... what just happened?!**_


	6. Introducing the OCs!

_**Authoress Note: Allllltight, we are still here. Six chapters and I am still in this stupid casino. Someone get me out, please. And we are still in italics because this is all in my head.**_

 _ **Ooooh, lookie! Reviews!**_

 _ **SLS: Har Har Har**_

 _ **LordMaRiFrizi: Buddy, I hate to break it to ya, but collecting souls (in in this case, fictional contracts) is going to be a HUGE pain.**_

 _ **gemstarz22: I just got bribed- AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH! Someone get me a coffee and some Swedish fish and several gallons of Holy Water!**_

 _ **I'm gonna need all the luck I can get...**_

 _ **TheLexTurtle : It's going to get... interesting... And thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying this.**_

 _ **macey: Joey, as well as several dozen other villains... are screwed.**_

 _ **Louise: The fun's just getting started...**_

 _ **I own nothing but my OCs, you'll meet a few more of them in this chapter. Trust me, they're going to be VERY relevant to this tale.**_

 _ **And the singing toon OC is not mine, she belongs to Princess Dash. Her stories helped inspire some of my stories, so go see her stuff and tell her the Authoress sent you. ;) (Thanks for letting me use her)**_

"We... are seriously doing this." Orio said quietly to his brother. Video nodded, unsure what to say in the current situation. On one hand, he as immensely relieved that he had such an amazing Authoress who was willing to do this for him (although he would never admit it), on the other hand, the reason _why_ she was going this was because he royally screwed up.

Well, it wasn't his fault, the Devil cheated. He had to.

"I want all those contracts together in one piece, kid. If one of them gets scratched the deal's off." The Devil snarled as Joan stuffed the paper in her backpack.

Joan didn't look at him. "Yeah, yeah, sulfur breath, don't want to ruin the ribbon around it." She zipped up her backpack and swung it over her shoulder. "You'll get those stupid contracts. Come on, kids."

The cats hopped off the desk one by one, but just as Video was about to jump off the Devil banged his clawed hand in front of the feline, blocking his exit. "One more thing." The Devil snarled.

Joan whipped around. "Now what?!"

"The two cats in dept are staying here until you get back."

A solid second passed. Joan stare at him in disbelief. Prim, on the other hand, screamed "NO!"

"Aw, come on!" Video protested, "The whole reason where doing this is so that we _won't_ stay here. Isn't this kinda defeating the purpose?"

"Yeah, they can't get contracts if they can't leave." Orio piped up.

"They are not staying her." Joan growled lowly.

"Who said you could make the rules?" The Devil snapped. "How'm I supposed to know you're not gonna weltch on me like all the other depters?"

"Because I'm not stupid. You clearly can travel through both Reality and the Fictional realms. There'd be nowhere for me to run."

"You were stupid enough to come here."

"So you're saying everyone here is stupid?"

The cats snickered at that comment. King Dice, on the other hand, gave a low huff in annoyance.

"They are staying here and that's that. Now get out before I give you the boot."

Prim gave a faint whimper. Joan caught the noise and looked at her OC. The kittens large, watery eyes stared right into hers, quietly crying for help.

Joan took a deep breath. "No. They are not staying. I won't collect anything unless they come with me."

"Same here!" Orio piped up. "No feline left behind!"

"If you won't collect anything I guess I'll keep the cats for good."

"THAT is not happening either. They will not be hostages." Joan barked.

"Yeah, how're we supposed to know you won't eat us or something while Joan's gone?" Video added.

"Video, don't add to the conversation-"

 _"WAIT!"_

Everyone paused and looked at the speaker. Prim wiped away her tears and gave a final whimper before continuing. "I... I-I think I know a way that we can leave with Joan but still have people stay here until Joan gets back."

"You... do?" Joan asked carefully.

Prim gulped, not liking all the attention. "W-While in the casino I heard some guests talking... they said something about... t-the place in need of a part-time music band."

"We don't play music." Orio said matter-a-factly.

"I know that," Prim hissed, "B-But we know some performers who are looking for a job, so... I-I was thinking maybe... I dunno, this is a bad idea..." Prim started to shake.

Orio put a paw on Prim's shoulder. "They could stay here instead of you guys?"

"Yeah!" Prim perked up. Looking up at the looming demon, she added with a bit more confidence, "Besides, we'd get the contracts faster if more people were helping Joan out."

"Sounds like a fair plan." King Dice stated.

Joan bit her lip, trying to recall any musicians from her past. Aside from Sammy Lawrence, no one came to mind.

 _Who's she talking about then?_

OOO

Far away on Planet Truce, a young OC sneezed.

"You smell it too?" A winged Chihuahua asked.

The OC rubbed his noise. "Huh?"

"That perfume that waitress was wearing. It's bothering you too?"

He shook his head. "No, I didn't even notice it. Must have some dust in my noise."

The dog shrugged and vent back to her peanut butter smoothie. For a while the two sat in the booth, watching the boy's sister, Mary, preform onstage. Mary was a realistic-looking OC wearing a casual black-and-navy-blue dress. Her black hair was up in a bun, leaving her bangs to dance in her face. Her partner was a small toon that looked like she just jumped out of a classic cartoon film. She wore a black dress with a bow in her hair and a spring in her step. The crowd seemed to love their work, often singing with them and even stepping onto the main floor to dance.

Two cartoons, a rabbit in blue pants and a cat with a pink skirt, were taking over the dance floor with their swing dancing. The toon seemed to notice this, so she started singing some classic 20's tunes as well as modern electro-swing.

"Mary's stealing you're thunder tonight, Noah." The canine teased.

Noah chuckled. "Eh, she deserves it. My sis' been working hard, let her have her moment."

"That cartoon's pretty good too, what's her name?"

"Uh..." Noah tapped his chin. "Rose, or Emily, one of the two."

"Where'd Mary find her?"

"Miss Rose... or Emily... is part of the music business. Heard she works with an animation company."

"Disney?"

"Not that, I can't remember which one."

"Oh."

A moment of silence passed. "Looks like we're getting a fat check tonight." The dog said, fluttering her wings with content.

Noah smiled. "Yup."

Suddenly another twang of worry pierced his heart. Noah tensed, looking in the crowd for any trouble. Every visible face was scanned by his photographic memory. The crowd seemed to slow as each face, OC, Reality, or FC, was studied.

"What is it?" The dog asked, she too searching the area.

Before Noah could answer the moment passed as if nothing happened. Noah sank into his seat. "Nothing. Just thought... I dunno. I've been having these panicked spikes all morning."

"Is that why you're not preforming tonight?" The dog asked, nodding towards the stage.

Noah nodded, bowing his head in thought. "I don't want to mess up onstage."

"Found out where they're coming from?" The dog asked as she slurped her straw.

Noah shook his head. "If I had to guess, I think it might have something to do with... Joanie."

The dog seemed unaffected by the realization. "What makes ya think that?" She asked as she started chewing on her straw.

"I'm not sure, just a hunch. And normally my hunches are right... Sophie, spit that straw out. Those aren't edible- Sophie, are you choking?"

Sure enough, the dog (who was apparently Sophie) began gagging on her straw. Noah had to lift the over-weight dog and press on her stomach several times before a saliva-covered straw spat across the room, colliding with Mary's assistant singer. Emily Rose awkwardly pulled the wet straw from her bow.

"Sorry!" Noah shouted as he struggled to calm a hyperventilating dog.

 _ **Authoress' Note: Sorry if this is a little short, most of you already know I had to go MIA because of exams. Well, it's finally over, and right now I'm trying to get my creative gears working again. Hopefully we'll see updates happen more regularly. In the mean time, stay safe, hug your ink demon, and stay away from casinos!**_

 _ **Remember to follow, favorite, and review!**_


	7. The Irish Twins

**Authoress' note: Does anyone know what band Prim is talking about? 'Cause i have no clue.**

 **Hey Look, reviews!**

 **mhuntington: Well, Thanos appears to be on this contract list, so hang tight!**

 **Princess Dash: Emily is a cute character! I hope to draw her sometime soon.**

 **TheLexTurtle: Oooooh! Studying abroad? Sounds exciting! Can't wait for your update! (And thanks for giving the thumbs up for the guest OC scene. Don't know when I'm going to do it, but it should be great!)**

 **Huh. Kinda quiet today. Maybe the poor service down here is messing with my phone. I can barely use it.**

"The... Irish Twins?" King Dice asked with a bit of speculation.

"Yeah," Prim said, "They started about 2 years ago. They're called that because-"

"I don't care what they're called." The Devil snapped, "Can they do their job?"

"U-Um..." Prim was beginning to panic again.

"Sure thing!" Video butted in, "They're the greatest band ever to travel the fandom realms!"

Prim sighed with relief, for once grateful for her brother's impulsiveness. She was really hating all the attention.

"'Travel the fandom realms...'" The Devil repeated, lost in thought. He scratched his chin. "Are they from Reality?"

"No, they're Joan's OCs." Orio replied.

Dice and Devil looked at Joan, expecting an explanation.

Unfortunately, Joan had no idea who the cats were talking about. She didn't remember anything about a band. Soccer tortuments, maybe, but never a band. The authoress jogged through her memories, trying to find anything useful. The devil's glare was not making it easy for her.

 _I swear he can read my soul._

 _I mean, technically he can._

 _Wait...When was the last time I've been to confession...?_

"Mary's the lead singer while Noah plays the guitar, as well as being a male vocal. They have other members as well." Orio added, bring Joan back to the present.

Mary and Noah! Those names Joan remembered. Countless backyard soccer games and sneaking into villain's lairs jostled Joan's mind. They were practically her siblings growing up. A wave of nestalga hit her stomach. Gosh, she hasn't seen those two since...

Joan mentally shook her head. This was not the time to think about that day.

"Have you seen them preform?" The Devil asked

"Yeah, they have concerts sometimes on Planet Truce." Orio said.

Joan's heart skipped a beat in alarm.

 _How come I never knew about this?! Concerts? What concerts?!_

"Can they do jazz and swing?"

"They can play anything." Video responded.

The Devil looked back at Joan, who flinched under his glare. "Is this true?"

 _HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!_

"...Y-Yeah, sure."

OOO

"We're going to Steak 'n Shake tonight people!" Mary cheered as she and the band gathered their things in the dressing room. Whenever the crew had a good performance they always treated themselves to the burger joint. They had invited Emily Rose to come with them, but she said she had a date.

"Vanilla milkshakes for everybodyyyyyy!" Sophie barked with excitement. Noah smiled and shook his head. He wasn't one to get overly excited.

As the musician stuffed his guitar into it's case, he felt his back pocket buzz. Pulling out his phone, he frowned.

Mary noticed her brother's confusion. "Spams?"

Noah wordlessly showed the screen to his sister, who burst out laughing.

"What?" Sophie asked.

"The number is 666-666-6666." Mary snorted.

"So?"

"Nothing... it's just... never mind. Noah, don't answer that."

Noah put his phone away. A moment later the phone rang again with the same number. Noah declined the call with a frown.

"I hate spams." He muttered.

 ** _Buzzz_**

 ** _Buzzz_**

 ** _Buzzz_**

"Noah, block that number!" Mary huffed.

 ** _Buzzz_**

 ** _Buzzz_**

"I don't know how, it's a new phone."

 _ **Buzzz**_

 _ **Buzzz**_

"Then just shut it off."

 ** _Buzzz_**

 ** _Buzzz_**

"I can't until the guy stops calling."

 _ **Buzzz**_

 _ **Bu-**_

"Oh for pete's sake!" Mary snatched the phone and pressed the answer button. "No, we are not cultists, we're not interested in wee-gee boards, and we are _not_ interested in hearing about your lord and savior Bendy, good day-"

"WAIT! DON'T HANG UP!"

The voice on the other end was so loud everyone in the room could hear. Sophie's wings fluttered in surprise as she turned her ears towards the phone.

"Mary! Don't hang up the phone! It's me Joanfenny!"

The room went stone silent for a solid ten seconds, the three band members looking at each other in shock. Mary mouthed to Noah, "Joanfenny?"

"Uh... guys...?" Joan's staticed voice called. "Please don't tell me you hung up-"

"Joanie!" Noah grabbed the phone and pressed it to the side of his face. "How're ya doing? We haven't heard from you in... well..." His voice trailed off. He was a bit more stunned than excited by Joan's unexpected call. For one thing, he didn't know she could still contact them. Another thing, Joan's franticness over the phone was...

...Unsettling.

"U-Um... I'm alright, nice t-to hear some friendly voices for once..."

"We're friendly!" A squeaky voice protested in the phone.

"Video, shut up, you're voice is in time-out." Joan snapped. Noah heard some snickers in the background.

"Uh... cool." Noah said uneasily. "So, what brings you to call us?"

If Noah's knowledge of Joan was up-to-date, she would normally give a reply of "What? I can't catch up with old friends?"

So Noah's stomach twisted with worry when she said quickly, "I need your help."

OOO

Mary didn't know wether to be shocked or angry by Joanie's sudden call. This girl hadn't contacted them in two years and suddenly she just... shows up? Just like that? Mary had assumed that Joan just didn't know how to reach them, but this phonecall was flushing that theory down the toilet.

 _So all this time she could have called us, and she never did?!_

Mary bit her lip. Maybe the cats gave her the contact info. They did know how to reach them, and they were with her at that moment, hense the "Your mouth is in time-out."

"Cuphead?" Noah said, interrupting Mary's thoughts. "No I don't know it. Where is it?"

"Its not a place its a fandom." Joan grumbled over the phone, her voice dripping with impatience.

"Mary?" Noah signaled his sister.

"On it." Mary said flatly as she typed "Cuphead" into her phone. Her phone instantly blew up with pictures, links, and news articles announcing a new Netflix series.

"Hmm..." Mary scrolled down the page. "'Cuphead is a run and gun indie video game developed and published by StudioMDHR...'"

Suddenly Mary paused at one of the suggested pictures. For some reason she struggled to look unintimidated, but one of the characters make her chest tighten in fear.

 _Why does this guy look like he could stare right into your soul?_

"Okay, were're looking it up right now," Noah confirmed over his phone. "Mary, whats the scoop?"

Mary shook her head in surprise. "Hm? Oh, apparently this is a video game of some sort. Cartoon styled. One of the characters looks like Mickey but with a teacup head."

"Seems like a place where Joan could get lost." Noah chuckled. He was immediately shutted up when Joan yelled in frustration over the phone.

"I'd disagree." Mary said, showing her brother the picture of the character.

Noah's eyes widened. "Uh... Joan? Where are you exactly?"

Joan gave a long, agonizing sigh before muttering, "...In the devil's casino."

 **Sophie's note: Hello human! I am Sophie the winged dog and I'll be wrapping up this chapter today, since everyone else is a bit occupied. So remember to follow, favorite, and please leave reviews. Miss Joanie loves your feedback. Oh, and bring dog treats. And dino treats. Why, you ask? Just shut up and bring the treats!**


	8. Help me Irish Twins, you're my only hope

**Authoress's note: I want oooooouuuuuuttttt!**

 **Oh hey, reviews.**

 **Chickenleg9999: I'm having fun with this story, and we're about to expand out cast a bit!**

 **Princess Dash: I'm glad you caught that ;)**

 **LordMaRiFrizi: YES! Pleeeeeaaaaasssseee help me!**

 **Oh, and quick update, I'm back at school! I won't be able to update as frequently, but I wanna let you know I'm a new place with new people! Really beats the hellhole I called "high school." But don't worry, my stories are just getting started!**

 **Oh, and I own nothing but all but two of my OCs.**

Joan hoped she didn't look to nervous as she pressed the ancient telephone to her ear. Her cell phone had no signal, so she was forced to use the office phone. It was a black 1930s telephone that had the spindial on it. Joan, being a 21st century kid, was having difficulty use it.

"You are... where?" Noah asked, his voice so staticed Joan could barely hear him.

"You heard me." Joan snapped.

"Okay, okay... and... why are you in a casino? Since when have you gone to those?"

"It's a really long story why and how I got here but basically I'm... stuck and need your help."

A staticed female voice said something over the line.

"What?" Joan said.

"Sophie wants to know if we need to bust you out of prison." Noah said. "We've done prison breaks before, we can—"

"No! No! Not that!" Joan sighed.

 _I've got to tell them. C'mon Joanie, just like ripping off a bandaid. They'll understand..._

"Then what do you need—?" Noah asked on the line.

"I need you to come to the casino because Video just gambled his soul away!" Joan shouted. She stopped for a minute, as if expecting the world to explode or something. When nothing happened, she continued. "Video gambled his and Prim's souls away and I've managed to work something out for their freedom but to _do that_ I need you to come and... ah... well... they need preformers at the casino and I heard you guys are a band now."

Silence.

More Silence.

"Noah?" Joan whimpered.

OOO

"Video... gambled his... soul?" Noah squeaked. His old gears were struggling to process the news. Joan was no liar, but her story just seemed... ridiculous? Incomplete? Impossible?

"Technically, he gambled his ownership away, b-but that's close to a soul, right?"

Noah looked at Mary, whose face was unreadable. She was looking at her phone screen.

"Who did he gamble it to?" Noah asked Joan.

Joan was silent, as if struggling to say the words. Noah had a pretty good hunch on who the culprit was, but he too seemed scared to say it. There was only one kind of person who stole souls.

"Joan, who did Video gamble the souls to?"

"I think it was the devil." Mary said with a disappointed tone. "He tried to steal the souls of the game's protagonists. At least, that's what Wikipedia's telling me."

"Who?!" Sophie yelped. "Wait wait... are we talking about Bendy or some anime devil or—"

"No," Joan interrupted, "The devil, as in father of lies, prince of darkness, terrifying monster that's trying to turn humanity into a pile of sh—"

"Kittens are present!" Prim censored.

"Are we talking about the real devil or some character adaptation?" Sophie asked. "I mean, if it's a fictional character he shouldn't be too hard to handle. Joanie is an Authoress, after all..."

"I dunno... it says hear the boss battle with him is pretty tough. Professional gamers could spend hours on that level." Mary said. "There's also some other character named King Dice... he looks kinda creepy..."

"It's not a fictional devil." Joan confirmed over the line.

The chatter in the room was silenced, almost like someone put the area on mute. Everyone's mouths were slightly hung open in various expressions. Mary's was shock, Sophie's was confusion, and Noah?

Noah didn't know what to feel.

"Are... you okay?" Noah asked. His sister gave him the most unimpressed scowl. Noah shrugged at her, as if saying, "What else was I supposed to ask?"

"I'm hanging over the fire's of hell by a thread. Do you think I'm okay?" Joan retorted.

"Uh..."

"What do you need us to do?" Sophie interrupted. "Clearly, we have a serious situation on our hands! The only reason Joan would be calling us about this is because we need to go rescue her!"

"What? No, I don't need..." Joan's voice was drowned out by Sophie's speech.

"Noah, grab your stick thingy. Mary, get your pew-pews! I'll get GeGe! Don't worry Joanie! We'll save you—!"

"I don't need saving!" Joan shouted, pitching the phone. Some snickers were heard in the background, followed by Orio asking "pew-pews?"

"Then what do you need, a Bible?" Noah asked.

"I already have one."

"Why haven't you used it?"

"I did! That's the only thing keeping me alive right now!"

"Then what do you need?" Mary was growing impatient.

"I already told you. I... I can't take Video and Prim with me..."

"...With you where?" Noah asked.

"With me... on a mission. I'll explain that when you get here. Basically I can't leave without them, but Prim had this crazy idea that... uh... you guys could stay here instead...?"

"At the casino?!" Noah's stomach dropped. This was by far the craziest thing Joan's ever asked of them.

"Uh, yeah... as performers? Prim told me that you guys started a band... and they need some musicians here..."

"Wait this was Prim's idea?" Mary butted in. "They must be really desperate if Prim is offering to endanger other people."

"Let me get this straight." Noah said. "You are stuck at the... devil's casino thanks to Video's gambling gone wrong, and you can't leave with Video and Prim unless we come as work there as musicians? Am I getting this right?"

"Yup." Joan said weakly.

There was a moment of quiet in the room. The trio looked at each other, unsure what to say.

It was Mary who spoke first.

"Noah, hang up."

 **Authoress' note: WAIT WHAT?! NOOOOOOO—**


	9. DON'T HANG UP

**Authoress note: Mary Noah I know I'm asking for a lot but pleeease help—**

 **Oh look reviews.**

 **mhuntington: Glad you do! (I don't..)**

 **Princess Dash: YES NOAH LISTEN TO THE PRINCESS DON'T HANG UP—**

 **TheLexTurtle: Thank you so much! And the twists are only going to get... uh... twister? Is that a word...? Anywho, the contract hunting is officially going to start very soon...**

 **TheFandomHopper: Dang sorry about that my dude! Yeah Mary's probably going to be the most interesting of the Band. Glad you like her so far!**

 **SLS: Everyday's Halloween in my book**

 **LordMaRiFrizi: Sadly I can't use my phone thanks to lack of signal.**

 **RandomGuest: From what I heard he's actually very patient... which is the scary thing... Oh Noah and Mary please help me!**

"NO!" Joanfenny screamed so loud the cats jumped and the Devil rolled his eyes.

"Listen Listen," Joan begged, "I know this is crazy I know it but I reeeeally need your help! I can't leave them here! If not for me then do it for the cats. Do it for Prim! You know she's innocent!"

"Thank you!" Prim huffed.

It was silent on the other line for a minute. Then, faint bickering from what came from Noah and Mary. Joan held her breath, praying to the Lord Almighty that they would have pity on her situation.

"Uh, Joan?" Noah asked.

"Yes?"

"Can you hold for a minute?"

"... Sure."

 _Click_.

OOO

"No way Noah!" Mary barked. "There is no in all the Fictional Realities we are going to do this."

"Mar—"

"No, don't 'Mary' me, brother. Do you have any idea what Joan's asking of us?! Do you have any idea who this creature _is_?! He's legendary for causing every fricking horrible thing ever to happen... ever. He's a monster with no conscious, no morality, NOTHING! And Joan's asking us to practically put our _lives_ into—"

"Joan is asking us to preform at a casino, not walk into Hell." Noah objected.

"I mean, well technically..." Sophie mumbled.

"Noah, there's more to that and you know it. It always starts with something small, something 'harmless.' But then it gets worse, and worse, and then finally your soul is so twisted—"

"May I remind you that we don't have souls?" Noah again interrupted.

"No, but we are fictional characters. Do you know what fictional characters do? They influence people from Reality. They entertain them, teach them lessons on life, give warnings, but when a fictional character does something STUPID like this, it can have bad effects on Reality."

"You mean like 'The Exorcist?'" Sophie commented. Mary threw her hands up in a dramatic fashion and huffed in frustration.

Noah pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyebrows scrunched. He understood Mary's point. When fiction is misguiding it can have negative effects on the real world. He's seen plenty of examples of that throughout his lifetime. But at the same time, Joan and the felines were in trouble. Wouldn't it be the right thing to help them? But would working in a casino with a sketchy owner be wrong?

He didn't know what to do.

"Sophie?" Noah asked at last. "What do you think of this?"

Sophie bit her lip. "I... I don't know enough about the situation, or the fandom. And... and I hate to be the one to try to justify evil or whatever, but Prim... Prim didn't do anything wrong. As wrong as it would be working at a place like that, it'd also be wrong to leave an innocent being there."

The Irish Twins let the canine's words sink in. Mary looked at Noah, Noah looked at Mary. Both of them had a desperate look in their yes. After heaving a sigh, Mary said, "Noah, give me your phone."

"Why—?"

"Noah." She bit.

Noah gave it to her. She unclicked the hold button.

"Joanfenny?" Mary spoke as if the word was a bad taste.

"Mary?" Joan gasped on the other end.

"When do you need us there?"

Noah and Sophie looked wide-eyed at Mary. Mary returned to them a sad, almost tired, glance.

"Uh, now? Like right now?" Joan quivered.

Mary sighed. "We'll be there in... two hours."

Joan almost screeched with delight. "THANK YOU THANK YOU I'M SO SORRY I'LL MAKE THIS UP TO YOU I PROMISE—"

"Yeah, Yeah you better Miss Kenobi. So, Cuphead, right? Casino?"

"Yes, yes!"

"We'll... we'll be there then." Mary said with defeat.

 _Click._

 **Authoress' Note: (Dramatic sigh of relief) I may actually survive this after all...**


	10. Jurassic Casino

**Authoress' Notes: So I realized that I've been writing this for over a year, and I want to say a quick thank-you to all the people who stuck with me in this. I know this story's a little slow, but there's a lot to it! Trust me!**

 **Okay, now review time!**

 **SLS: Fun Fact, Kenobi is an actual last name in the real world, I've met someone with that name. I know not everyone's aware that Joan's last name is Kenobi, comes from my Star Wars phase. :)**

 **UNIVERASE: Hello Univerase welcome! Actually Bendy's normally on my side, (excepts when he pesters me for updates)**

 **mhuntington: Awwww! Thank you! (Virtual hug)**

 **hitthepin: So do I! Sadly they're arn't very many out there. I hope that this will be the crossover to dominate all other crossovers!**

 **Alright people, another chapter! Here we go— wait why do I hear the Jurassic Park soundtrack...?**

"No Holy Objects beyond this point." Mary read from the large sign posted at the Casino's entrance. "How... reassuring."

"How did Joan get the Bible in here then?" Sophie asked.

"I doubt they have some holy relic scanner at the entrance. This is the 30s after all." Noah said. "Plus, it seems like Joan to completely ignore that rule."

The Irish Twins band looked at one another before looking back at the casino. It looked like a 3D painting with every detail exaggerated for effect. There was no wind, so the air smelled stale with a faint whiff of sulfur. Mary wanted to think it was her imagination, but she could have sworn to hear muffled voices beneath her feet.

"Ready?" Noah asked.

"No." Mary and Sophie said in union.

"Great!" Noah bit with fake enthusiasm. "Let's go!"

OOO

There was a tiny part of King Dice that regretted that he had lured the kitten (Video, right?) to the gambling table. Though it wasn't out of a guilty conscience, Dice was pretty sure he didn't have one. No, what made him regret his decision was the fact that he had to "babysit" the Authoress as they wait for her friends to arrive.

Apparently the Devil had to go start a plague or something back in Joan's world, but at least he wasn't at the Casino.

Joanfenny did not appear to like the situation anymore than King Dice. She hardly spoke a word to him and whenever they made eye contact Joan gave him a glare that said "If I had my wand you'd be _toast._ "

King Dice had resumed his duties as Manager after he had Joan sit on a stool with the firm warning to not move at all. It was one of the tall stools at the bar, so to everyone else she looked more like an underage drinker than a temporary prisoner. Three times a random customer had asked her if they could by her a drink.

After some time of nothing happening and Joan playing Bendy and the Nightmare Run on her phone, King Dice asked. "So... you're a cartoonist?"

Joan looked up from her game, and just at that moment one of the Ink Bats killed Gangster Bendy on screen.

"Dang it!" Joan hissed. Putting her phone away in defeat, she replied. "Yeah, what's it to you?"

"I'm just curious why you hate the Cuphead fandom if you're a cartoonist."

Joan rolled her eyes. "I don't hate the fandom... I just hate it's main villain."

"You've made that part obvious."

"Yeah, I mean one honorable thing about the game is that it portrays him in his true colors. Someone who's ruthless, a liar, a cheater, and basically a jerk all around. And yet there's still the... fanart and stuff. People seem to completely ignore the message the game was trying to make." Joan eyed her backpack, where the cats were currently grounded.

If King Dice's face could pale it would have. "Yeah..."

"Oh, so you know about that?" Joan snickered.

"I'm one of the main characters." Dice reminded her as he polished a glass.

"It's pretty crazy, but I guess no fandom is safe from the artistic fangirls." Joan chuckled.

 _Not quite what I was referring to._ Dice mentally noted.

A couple more awkward minutes go by. Another person goes up to Joan asking if he could by her a drink. This fellow, a snakelike creature, did not seem entirely sober. His slurred hisses spewed the stench of whiskey in Joan's face.

"Get lost." Joan snapped.

"Wwwwhat'sssss the matta sweetheart? You had a—"

Joan cut him off when she noticed two familiar figures walk inside. One of them a blond-haired boy with a guitar case swung over his shoulder and the other an obese chihuahua with wings. Joan practically flew off her stool (grabbing her bag in the process) as she raced to the friendly faces. Noah had been looking at his phone (possibly trying to find signal) when Joan bear-hugged him.

"OOF! J-Joan—?!"

"Noah! Finally some friendly faces!" Joan gasped as she squeezed her friend. She swung him around once before putting him down. "Thank you so much for coming, I known this is all craz—"

Noah waved her off as he catched his breath. "I-It's fine really. You'd do the same for us."

Joan fiddled with her hands, not really sure how to respond to that. "So... uh... where's Mary?"

"Oh, uh... she's helping GeGe get inside."

"GeGe? She's in the band too?"

"Yeah, she—"

"So you must be Noah!" Another voice piped up. Noah looked over Joan's shoulder to see what he assumed was Kind Dice. "Pleasure to finally meet you." He gave the boy's hand a good shake.

Noah forced a smile. _Wish I could say the same._

"And you there," Dice looked at Sophie (who was cleaning her butt) "Uh... you're Mary I presume?"

"Nah, I'm Sophie, Mary's the emo one."

"She's not emo." Noah defended.

"Sure she is, she's got black hair and always frowns."

"It's dark brown, and she's just a little moody sometimes."

King Dice decided it wasn't worth telling them he didn't know what "emo" was.

"So... where is Miss Mary then?" Dice asked.

"She's helping GeGe." Replied Noah.

"And who's Ge—"

Just then a series of screams came from the entrance as several skeletons ran in multiply directions. Behind them was a frantic dark-haired girl and a creature Dice had never seen before. It was a reptilian creature with purple scales and a tale that doubled as a whip. It's face was long and filled with teeth. It screeched as it bit at one of the skeletons.

In other words, it was a velociraptor. A giant, hungry, purple velociraptor.

"That's GeGe." Noah answered.

The raptor was causing havoc as it's tale rammed into tables and it struggled to find footing while prying at it's prey. Mary was trying to calm her down to no avail. As far as GeGe was concerned, bones were food, and guess what skeletons are made of?

"GeGe no!" Mary yelled, grabbing the dino's neck in an attempt to pin her down. "These are guests, not food! Not food, not food GeGe stop!"

"Should we stop her?" Sophie asked, completely unaffected by the chaos.

Joan cupped her hands and shouted, _"GeGe, cut it out!"_

GeGe looked up and spotted the Authoress. With speed of 40 mph she charged at her, screeching in the process.

Kind Dice yelped in a pitch higher than he'd ever admit.

Before Joan could move GeGe collided with the Authoress and they both tumbled to the ground. The wind was knocked out of Joan an=s the reptile practically sat on her. Instead of eating her, though, GeGe began licking Joan's face and wagging her tail in excitement. One problem was that unlike dog's tongues, a Dino can't exactly stick it's tongue out, so GeGe was basically putting Joan's head into her mouth.

"U-Ugh—Ack! GeGe s-stoppp... you're getting dino spit all over me—"

"Well at least someone's happy to see her..." Mary grumbled.

"G-GeGe stop! H-Ha! Oh my gosh were you always this big? Look at you!" Joanfenny began scratching GeGe behind her nonexistent ears, causing GeGe's leg to involuntarily kick. "Who's a big giwrl? Ywou are! Yes ywou are! You are such a gwood girl!"

"What the hell is she?!" King Dice motioned to the Dino in a dramatic fashion. "I've never seen something so vulgar in my life."

"Uh, and you work for who now?" Mary sassed.

GeGe, now aware of the manager's presence, jerked her head in his direction and gave a low snarl. Dice slowly backed up, raising his hands in a defensive manner. "N-Now now Betty... let's not..."

GeGe hissed at him, causing Dice to jump back, black outlines of sweat dripped down his face.

 _I should have just brought GeGe with me in the first place._ Joan thought.

"What's wrong with her?!" Dice snapped towards Noah.

Noah fought a smile. "She's hunting."

"I can _see_ that, boy! Tell her to knock it off!"

 _I dunno, you kinda deserve it._ This time Noah did smile as Dice grabbed a chair to put between him and the hunter.

"GeGe," Joan innocently patted the Dino's skull. "Normally I'd love for you to eat this crook, but right now I need you to contain your villain-munching instincts for later, okay?"

GeGe whined in protest but calmed down.

"Good girl GeGe, don't worry you'll have plenty of fun later." Joan gave her friend a quick hug before standing up. "So, Mr.-Gameist-In-The-Land, what'd you think?"

It took the manager a minute to find his voice. "No! Absolutely not! T-There's is no way I'm having this... creature into this Casino. It's a danger to the place and—"

"Uh, excuse me? Danger?" Mary snapped, marching right up to the game piece. "Danger? Says the guy who works for an unholy yak and allows kids into an alcoholic zone. And speaking of which, may I mention the illegal stuff that goes on around here outside of dragging souls into hell?"

"And why exactly would you care about issues like that, little vamp?"

Mary looked like she was about to burst a vein. "Well, if I'm going to work somewhere I at least do a background check on the place, and I'm sure you're already aware that the year here is 1930, and that gambling _and_ alcohol were illegal during that time."

"In case it ain't already obvious, I don't work with other people's rules, toots." A new voice snarled, causing hairs to raise on Joan's back in both fear and irritation.

Mary's stern face fell and paled as the newcomer entered the room. Noah (who had smuggled a tiny flask of Holy Water) gripped the tube in his pocket to control his trembling. Sophie whimpered in fear and waddled behind Noah.

But GeGe?

Well...

"GeGe no!" Joan shouted as she tried to restrain the reptile. GeGe shrieked as she attempted to lunge at the villain, her clawed arms throwing pathetic swipes at him. Soon both Noah and Mary were throwing themselves on top of GeGe to keep her down. King Dice looked at the choas in utter horror and disgust, but his boss seemed to have an unnerving smirk on his face.

Sophie, meanwhile had gone back to cleaning her rear.

 **Authoress' note: Yeah GeGe and King Dice are NOT going to get along... and it's going to be awesome.**

 **Also, when Dice called Mary a "vamp" she thought he was referring to her emo-like appearance. But slang worked a little different in the 20s and 30s. You can look it up ;). I love working with miscommunication!**

 **And yes, one of the band members is a dinosaur. Fight me.**

 **Anywho, as always follow favorite, and review! And Merry Christmas everyone!**


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